Sunday, July 19, 2009

No More No More Sweden

So, I guess I've survived the heat and sweat of No More Sweden. I even managed to make a game that I'm reasonably happy with, although I didn't win any of the categories this year. Heart breaking.

I'm gonna see if I can fix it up tonight and release it, but as usual, don't count on it...

Most of all, it was fun to meet everyone again. I hope I'll get to attend next year too.

Also... I probably shouldn't mention this, but I've been thinking more and more about not making games anymore. The last nine months have had quite a few highlights, but overall it's been the worst time in my life. Maybe things will change, though. I don't know.


ronnoc said...

To be fair, you've said this before. But, do what you want.

Eric Carl said...


hryx said...

Young adulthood can be shit. Even worse than adolescence for some people. Hang in there. If you've had some life-changing experiences and you need to change gears, I hope you still share your bizarre talents with everyone.

Matthew said...

The real question is what would you do instead? If you have a solid answer for that with motivation behind it then maybe it's the right decision.

I'm sure everyone reading this blog hopes you continue making games in some capacity.

cactus said...

I would try to get a regular job, so I can meet more people. I don't enjoy sitting in front of the computer all the time.

heather and erik said...

we feel you. *hugs*

Pauli Kohberger said...

I have a feeling that getting a regular job would be a good idea. If you're not focused on making games (like you said, if you're not sitting in front of the computer all the time), then it actually might make it easier. I know that sitting in front of a blank screen trying to churn something, anything out can oftentimes just make it harder.

QOG said...

I understand why you might want to quit, but getting a regular job shouldn't completely prevent you from making games. And if you release Death Party life will be better...

Delaney said...

There's no shame in getting a "regular" job, or switching to something different. I'd be sick of games if I'd made the ridiculous amount you have.
Whatever you do, just keep us in the loop!

G.I.L. said...

Good idea, A person with your number of games finished needs a break from games whether it be forever or temporary.

Paul said...

I wouldn't give up making games altogether if I were you, but taking a break for a few months or a year or whatever might be good if you feel this way :)

Matthew said...

When I started out in games development and while at Uni is took part time work at a videogames retailer. It gave me a break from sitting in front of a machine, got some money in the bank, and I still got the benefit of being around games and getting a nice staff discount.

Maybe that's something you consider? Maybe part time work so you are doing half games half real world.

Good luck whatever you decide Cactus.

r.kachowski said...

the past 9 months have been shit for everyone. it's a completely unique situation. if you feel like you need a change, then you should go for it.

good luck with whatever you do

Amidos said...

:( I know this feeling of sitting infront of the screen for lots of time only I treat with machines and less humans I know this feeling

Its bad situation and also not continue gaming will be bad for me as I dlove ur games :)

But since leaving gaming will make u a bit better (I think that will happen) then go for it :)

But dont forget about us :)

much0J said...

I hate making games,but thats why i am making them!

Farbs said...


mirosurabu said...

If you feel no reward and only pain then I think it's better to stop making games. Eventually, you'll get back at it (in one way or another), it's just matter of time.

Jamal said...

MR Jonatan. These guys have no idea what they are talking about. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not stop making your games. Not even for a minute. It will break our hearts.

You are the reason I visit this website DAILY, to see if there is a new wonderful game I can sink my teeth into. To see you leave would be a real shame.

Whatever it is, whatever personal dilemna you are having in your life, things will get better. Making games is something you have a very very special talent for, and I see no reason for you to stop developing.

Thanks for all the great times, and again, PLEASE DON'T STOP MAKING GAMES!

Unknown said...

Mr Cactus, other people make games. You make ART my friend. It is a big difference. Do not stop with what you are doing. It is genius, Jonatan.

Anonymous said...

Your games are absolutely awesome!

Some of the first indie games I ever played were by you. I think you have a unique style and aesthetic, and I've derived a lot of enjoyment from your art.

Just wanted to express my appreciation. Do what makes you happy.

deldisco said...

Do what thou wilt. If you come across a genius idea that you HAVE to make a game out of, I'm sure you'll make it. Real, inspired artistic expression is better than rushed.

Anthony said...

I understand that you love these games Jamal, but you can't make the decision for him. I feel like I'm adding nothing to this conversation, but do whatever you feel is right, cactus. Whether you continue making games or not, we've all enjoyed your work, and I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do in the future. Keep us posted!

Jamal said...

Yeah, do what makes you happy Cactus. :) Good luck in whatever your life brings you.

G-Flex said...

Sometimes people need a change of pace; that's completely normal.

And hey, even if you were to cease starting new projects and then stop game design altogether, it's not like you'd ever lose the option to do it again at some later date.

Sometimes doing the same thing for far too long can be stifling to a person's motivation and creative juices. I hear you.

Jabberwock said...

Considering how well your games are loved, I don't think that you should necessarily quit it. You obviously have a great talent for it. However, I can definitely see why you would be unhappy with this.

My suggestion, personally, is: get a day job. You may very well feel more inspired to work on games if it goes back to being a hobby rather than a defining feature of your life. If you are not happy, you should do something different.

Just know that you're about the most genius developer out there, in my humble opinion.

superflat said...

Dude I went through exactly the same thing in the music industry. Really lacked motivation and forgot what I loved about it in the first place. Started making indie games, then my dad got ill so to look after him, and to pay the bills I got a job in the games industry. It was only then I realised how lucky I was to be able to survive on the money from my own projects, to be my own boss and have total creative freedom. I'm hoping to get back there now, hopefully with a combination of music and games. I've learnt a lot from the job, especially about discipline which I reluctantly admit is important!

I recommend trying the industry, or at least another job, to remind yourself of how much you love games. I'm sure you do, deep down! Either that or you're unnaturally talented at something you hate, haha. It's actually made me hungry again, for all kinds of creative pursuits, as they are once again escapes, instead of the grind itself.

But follow your heart. You'll know the right thing to do. I also highly recommend doing something impulsive like going off to Africa with a backpack for six months. A change in scenery might be all you need!

Moshboy said...

Good luck in whatever you do cactus. Your games have influenced and inspired so many people. It would be mighty sad to see you totally quit indie game development but something tells me you probably won't 100% quit it for good.. just take a decent break and gain a fresh perspective.

Phil Willis said...

I'd be very disappointed if you stopped making games.

But having said that - you're not a human jukebox. A lot of fans will beg (maybe even DEMAND) that you keep creating for them.

In the end you have to do what you feel is right.

I know how you feel. I've been in nine months self-imposed exile locked in a room with a computer learning as much as I can about animation. And the isolation really sucks.

Maybe take a break for a bit. Your fans will still be there when you get back.


Ava Avane Dawn said...

If the theoretical sides of video games interest you, or if you could work with a sketchpad then you don't have to sit in front of a computer per se, and take a break from isolation. But focusing on actually getting a daily routine outside of the screen is the first step towards happiness for you probably, so congratulations and thanks for telling us.

Unknown said...

I think you should just do what you think is best, which seems to be trying to get a regular job. You'll get a break from making games and you'll have more money to - well, buy stuff, I guess.

And, like many people have said, getting a job doesn't automatically mean you will never make another game. If you get a brilliant idea or if you feel like doing something creative then game-making will always be there as an option for you.

Matt said...

You have a very special talent for making games. If you need a change, I hope you'll consider working on games in another setting, maybe with a team or on more commercial projects.

I don't know anything about your circumstances, but you might feel more energized if you were making more money from your games, so you didn't have to feel they were taking away from more important work.

Anyway, best wishes. Thanks for the works you've released so far.

xeno said...

Good luck with everything, cactus! Regardless of what you do, you've got tremendous creative talent. I hope whatever you chose to do you get to share your unique ideas with the world!

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